Another precious day at the farm is complete; simple moments and simple pleasures.  No interaction with the cats, dogs, sheep or dance with the horses is ever the same.  There is no moment like the next or the one that preceded it.  One could say there are no ordinary moments.

Another precious day at the farm is complete with no name to describe what the farm itself embodies.  For almost three years, we have been determined and now driven to find a name for the farm, or shall I say, for a name to make itself known to us.  It had not been easy.

Many hours, days and months have brought about searches in books, dictionaries, thesauruses, internet searches, Facebook post requests and discussions/brainstorming sessions with friends.  I have even attempted to ask the farm what it would like to be named. The result? – A whole bunch of great words that simply don’t work in any combination we have thought of….yet.

For me, it has to be perfect.  When spoken aloud it must sound like a melody and when written it must appear interesting and easily etched into the mind of the observer.  Most importantly it must evoke the feelings of love, peace, connection and hope in those that experience the name.  The name must awaken all the senses in those beings that know it.  How difficult can it be for such a name to come forth and reveal itself?

I have involved my right brain and left brain together; my right brain only and my left brain only.  I have consulted my inner self, higher self, intuitive self, my spirit guides and angels.  Further I have turned it over to my dreams, pulled cards and meditated on it.  I have tried too hard, not hard enough and not at all.

What more can one do?  Plead, prey, get down on my knees in the damp grass and beg?  I don’t know why why WHY this is so difficult.  It is a name….a simple name…..simple.

One thing I DO know is that tomorrow is another precious day.  Maybe tomorrow I will know it.

]]> http://www.unbridled-potential.com/?feed=rss2&p=810 0 http://www.unbridled-potential.com/?p=804 http://www.unbridled-potential.com/?p=804#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:30:38 +0000 admin http://www.unbridled-potential.com/?p=804 It has been three weeks since the long waited arrival of Lulu and Fable, our miniature horses. By all accounts they are settling in well— adjusting to their new environment while meeting the rest of the family.  It has been a wonderful experience watching their demeanor and comfort levels change as the weeks have gone by.

Although I am skillful at observing the body language of all animals I have been drawn to take this gift to another level by nurturing an empathetic view of those I am interacting with, be they two legged or four.  Can I understand them better by seeing what they see, standing where they stand, and feeling what they feel?  It has taken patience, vulnerability and practice but the answer is definitely yes.

I have had some very insightful realizations as a result of this shift in perspective.  Using Fable as an example, he comes across as an extremely shy being. When I met him for the first time it seemed like merely looking at him caused him to back up and hide behind his buddy. So, shifting my perspective, I began to imagine standing in his … hoofs. I looked for more qualities that would describe his reactions to situations to help deepen my understanding of his perspective.  In doing this I discovered that while he may be shy he is not skittish or overly nervous; in fact, he is relatively quiet and slow moving.  I sense his curiosity and a healthy sense of courage.  For example, in uncertainty, or when faced with decisions to stay or flee, he takes time to ponder rather than haplessly react, he almost appears to be thinking or contemplating.

The more I get to know Lulu and Fable, the more I see how they have different needs in adjusting to a new home. Despite my eagerness to run up and coddle both of them, for the most part, I have refrained.  When I imagine that I am in Fable’s shoes I can feel the hesitancy in having unknown people approach me, especially if they are much larger. In noticing this I give him space and the result is brilliant.  Now when I enter into his paddock area, I stop when I feel I am in his energetic field, and kneel down until he approaches.  I give him the choice to interact with me or not.

The more I allow his perspective to enter mine, the more I feel him developing a connection with me and his new home.  There are times now that he will walk up to me, even when I am standing, stop and slowly lift his head until we make eye contact.  I bend over to meet him as his nose reaches up to me.  I feel his soft fur and look into his eyes and I feel I am in love.

After approximately one year, Chunky was moved and boarded at a small farm located just 3 blocks from the Junior High School I attended.  This was the same High School where my dad was the principal; or at least until the summer of 1981 when he suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack.  It was an especially lonely time.

The moments I most enjoyed with Chunky were in essence “doing nothing” or more accurately called the art of Wu Wei.  It was before or after my grooming and riding that I would make a coffee (yes I dare to say I drank coffee as a young teen) and sit on the ground with Chunky while he ate his hay.  I would sit quietly watching his cleverly precise muzzle moving the hay around and listening to the sound of his giant molars grinding the wad of fiber.   It was a rhythmic sound that lulled me into another zone or dimension while at the same time allowing me to be very present in that moment.

Just weeks ago I created some time to spend hanging out with May.  I was following what horse trainer Carolyn Resnick describes as “sharing territory” one of the first Waterhole Rituals.  The idea is to read, journal or meditate in the same space as the horse virtually paying little attention to him.  This gives the horse the permission to approach and check out the human in a safe manner (something we rarely let them do).  What a fabulous way to spend time with our horses without expectations on either end.

I placed the plastic chair under the leaves of the full Maple tree with tea in hand.  I had a notebook on my lap prepared to write something brilliant or in the least, just something.  May’s curiosity was evident by the way she walked toward me, ears forward with purpose.

She stopped when her front legs were barely touching the arm of the chair.  Towering over my whole body with her head and neck, I certainly felt her presence.  In stillness she stood, breathing in and breathing out with the depth and breadth that humans rarely experience.  I enjoyed the moment basking in her fullness; it seemed to last forever.

After a few minutes, more critters were attracted to this silent meditative interaction.  Chelsea, the young and agile barn cat, wanted to sit on my lap at the same time and enjoy herself with us.  She and May have a special bond; it was shortly after moving to the farm that May invited Chelsea to go for a ride on her back.

Chelsea attempted to be relatively still on my lap but May’s nuzzling was a little bit overwhelming for her.  Chelsea jumped off the chair and began slowly walking to the other side of the arena.  May with her head hung low and slow meandering walk, followed Chelsea to the other side before the fence stopped her.  Chelsea confidently always just one step out in front of May’s hooves.

May seemingly disappointed turned to come back toward me.  I stood up to meet her and I began to notice her demeanor change.  She became mildly agitated as I moved around her.  She slowly began kicking at her belly, then turning to face her butt toward me then she would kick at her belly again.  My joy turned into panic as I believed May was displaying signs of colic.  Colic has taken the lives of so many horses.

I frantically watched for her in search for more signs or symptoms.  I stuck my ear to her belly to listen for healthy digestion sounds.  I was relieved to hear digestive rumblings but began to question if they were normal sounds for her.  I had to keep looking for other signs.  I got her to walk around with me.  Did she appear though she wanted to lie down?  I saw nothing else.  In fact, her eyes were relaxed and she didn’t appear in any discomfort judging by her overall expression.

I stood and pondered while she continued to back toward me and kick her belly.  I shrugged my shoulders to myself and thought, ‘well maybe there is something on her belly that she is kicking at.’  Almost instinctively I leaned over with my hand under her belly and began to give her a good scratch.  Her body began to bend as she contorted into a twisted gummy horse position before lifting her left hind foot up off the ground.  She held her leg out and up to the side as I continued to scratch.  I quickly glanced at her face to realize she was in utter joy.  Her head reaching into the air with her muzzle wiggling around showing her delight.  The itchy spot that had plagued her for close to 15 min was now relieved.  No colic but simply an itch.

When we spend time with horses in this way, with no expectations or demands, it allows us to deepen our connection with our horses and with ourselves. I look forward to many more days, months and years of sitting with May and the rest of the herd practicing the art of Wu Wei.

Jake is a typical North American teenage boy or more accurately, a strapping young man.  He possesses an abundance of extremely high energy, demonstrated by his ability to speak 300 words/minute, walk while eating, texting, facebooking, all performed quite naturally, at least to him.  His laugh is infectious and he loves to laugh with that deep full bodied sound.

On previous visits to the farm, Jake had been moderately curious about the horses with a quiet hello as he passed by on his way to the back field to help my partner Steve with chores.  His passion for hot cars, fast motorcycles, and extreme sports certainly outweighed any interest in the horses.

On this particular visit, I had a sudden and sure sense that he was suppose to spend time with the horses.  I didn’t give it a second thought; after all, the horses have been the best teachers in following those “feelings” of intuition.  I spoke to Steve about this sudden insight and my intention to steal Jake away for a few minutes. However, Steve had other plans for Jake.  There were lawns to mow, leaves to rake and rocks to lift.  Steve wasn’t interested in having Jake taken away to take part in something non work related.  That was until Steve realized the tractor battery was dead.  I thought, how timely that this convenient chunk of time was created for Jake.  I love how the universe lines up opportunities.

Not sure if he would be willing to play along in my intuitive moment, I grabbed Jake and said “come on we are going to hang out with May.”  I grabbed a plastic chair and marched through the other horses paddock to meet with May in her personal 24 x 40 space.

May is my 7 year old mare whom has been a part of our herd since she was 4 months old.  I had chosen her from a photograph before I ever met her in person.  There were a few fillies available all having the same sire.  The fillies were located on a PMU farm in Bentley Alberta (Although not as popular now as back then, PMU farms were specifically set up to capture the urine of pregnant mare’s and sold to pharmaceutical companies for the creation of premarin – a hormone for post menopausal women).

Although May had been injured prior to our arrival on the farm, I was still firm in my decision that May was the one.  We completed the necessary paperwork and before long, this little filly was being encouraged, or shall I say lifted into the horse trailer to begin the journey home.  Not 5 km driving with her in tow, the name May eased into my awareness, with no obvious reason, it just was.  I later learned from my mother that my Grandpa had a horse named May when he was young.  As I rehearsed the name over and over, I thought of reasons why it was right.  There was a particular catchy song by Rascall Flatts called “Mayberry.”  So as it was, on occasion May is called Mayberry and sometimes it is delivered quietly in song.

Let me share my description of May’s characteristics to better understand who she is.   May is, without a doubt, the lead mare in our herd.  It was clear early on in her life that she was taken on the responsibility of being the leader.  Although she has been challenged by other horses in various situations, she makes it crystal clear that she is the boss.  As well as being the head matriarch she also has the most magnificent and loving heart.  She is a gifted healer.  Her presence is steady, quiet, and confident.  Standing beside May feels like being cradled in a warm blanket and held safely.  She has a nurturing way with all the people she works with that causes them to melt in honor and reverence.

I plunked down the chair in May’s paddock and told Jake to take a seat with the added challenge “don’t talk for about 10 min.’ He willingly sat with a whimsical smile on his face appearing to have little concern about being approached by an 1100 lb animal.  May began her encounter by walking over slowly but intently until she approached Jake.  He had an eager grin and his eyes expressed excited anticipation.  May began checking him over by first sniffing his shoes then gradually working her way up every part of his body and finishing by nuzzling his short brushed cut hair.  May thought Jake’s hair felt peculiar and interesting while Jake was beaming from ear to ear careful not to make a noise and interrupt his 10 minutes of silence.  Time stood still.

May’s nose dropped back down to Jake’s left knee and for the next several minutes, she couldn’t help but fixate here.  All within a 2-3 inch span, she began rhythmically moving her head from side to side and opening her mouth while tensing her jaw.  She began to bear her teeth which for a split second, I wondered if she would bite.  I knew better then to question May’s healing techniques, but I had never seen her react this way.  These movements continued intensely for several more minutes with the occasionally sneeze from May signifying the release of energy.  As time passed I began to wonder why this was happening, what was it about his left knee?  I was initially puzzled but I knew there was a story; there was something that she sensed.

In actuality, there wasn’t much figuring to be done and quite honestly, in situations like this (the horse/human kind), I know better then to get my head involved.  I have learned to trust the process and the story will unfold.

Just as I began to breathe again and let go of my thoughts, the answer came to me, I knew what it was.  I knew exactly why May was fixated on this small but significant area on Jake’s knee. I could barely contain myself then realizing that close to 10 minutes was up.  The first thing I asked Jake was, “When you were hit by that car a year or two ago, where did it hit you?”  His young eyes opened wide.  As if in slow motion, he uttered the words my left knee, the bumper of the car hit right above my left knee right where May was focusing.  (He was standing outside his residence with some friends when a young driver intentionally drove into the group of boys).  He was excited, shocked and even perplexed at the idea that a horse could sense an injury and ultimately enact some type of healing to the area.

I went on to explain to Jake that when there is trauma in the body, the physical healing may take place but often there is an emotional blockage still remaining in the body associated to the trauma.  I watched Jake, still somewhat bewildered, nod in agreement.  My sense was that Jake found the interaction intriguing and unusual but I bet he contemplated his experience long into the day.

Witnessing the magical connection and healing between May and Jake shouldn’t surprise me, but I am left in a state of awe yet again.  As humans we tend to look for an immense event or observable sign that a part of us has healed, but what I believe is that it is these little moments, whether we are aware of it or not, that are the true healing moments.  Whether Jake “knows” it or not, a part of him was healed that day.

What would a relationship look and feel like with a friend who made 100 % of the decisions all the time?  She chose what restaurant to lunch at, where to travel for a getaway weekend, what to talk about and everything in between?  I suspect after a short while you would give up attempting to introduce your ideas or opinions even to the point that you simply wouldn’t want to spend time together any longer.

Now switch roles and place the human as the sole decision maker and the horse as the other partner in the relationship.  It might be become clear that horses might choose to trot away when they see us coming, knowing their perspective is not considered or even acknowledged.

Over the last 10 years I re-entered the horse world, as an adult, learning the new natural horsemanship methods.  I learned that we never let the horse make decisions because they will become dominant and place themselves higher than us in the herd hierarchy.  While it is important to have clear and healthy boundaries with our horses, we can still maintain safety while sometimes allowing our horses to make a choice in what they would see as spending valuable time together.  This is where the leadership ebbs and flows, like the smooth inter-tangled legs of a tango.  Imagine how the relationship would change if we acknowledged their voice and occasionally followed their lead?  What a dance that would be……

Sired by “The Jazz Man.  ‘Taisie’ has been an exceptional student while in training with me.  Taisie has a calm demeanor and she loves spending time socializing with people.

Taisie has a very solid reining based foundation.  She will be great for a rider wanting to show in either English or Western or be an all round horse for somebody who dabbles in a few different activities.  On the ground, Taisie is exceptional.  While working at liberty in the round pen she gets to work right away and is very responsive to subtle cues.

If you are looking for a “fire cracker” quick horse, she is NOT for you.  She is the type of horse that will pack you around or be just as happy to stand around and hang out.  She has been to hoofball outings, working on ground poles, and trails.  She is quick to settle into new environments and takes everything in stride.

As part of my business, my clients partner with horses in the area of personal development.  Some clients (with no horse experience) have chosen to work with Taisie at liberty in the round pen. Taisie has proven to be safe, trustworthy and loving toward clients.  She has been ridden bareback and ridden by inexperienced horse people (for eg. My husband in the photo bottom left).  Taisie is healthy, sound, trailer loads, baths,  and ground ties.  To approved home.  $5000 OBO

The focus of this article is to bring awareness to the subject rather than to assign blame or punishment.  It is my opinion that we still have a long way to go to move from control over and abuse of horses, to being in partnership with him.

I have heard many people make statements such as, “he (the horse) was trying to do x (a behavior) to do y (a reaction) to me (the rider/handler).”  It is described as if the horse has the conscious mind or formed intent to do something (usually undesirable) to the human.  Horses do not have a conscious mind like humans do - a good thing.  Without conscious mind, horses have the ability to always live in the moment, to express their emotions with honesty and fullness, and to be this way while being in harmonious community with one another.  These are the same qualities that so many humans are now seeking on the journey of personal development and spirituality.

Think about this – What would the horse / human relationship look like if ego were not involved?  What if humans were able to check their egos at the gate just as in martial arts training where students are challenged to set ego aside before beginning a sparring match?  My friend, an avid instructor in Martial Arts, states that the challenge to his students is to perfect their character rather than technique and this can only be done without ego (which often gets in the way and distorts the students’ image of his/her true self).  What if the approach with our horses was without ego and we moved into an interaction with the question  “what can I learn?”   My suspicion is that the human would learn a vast amount about him/herself if taking the opportunity and openness to value the horse as a teacher.

One of the most common situations where ego arises is when the rider/handler believes the horse is blatantly disobeying them.  The frustration builds in the human and the communication continues to become more unclear to the horse.  Frustration may turn into anger, communication stops and abuse begins. In this case, it is mis-communication that began the mis-understanding.

What if humans were to take notice when this dynamic is occurring and then choose to take step back, slow down and assess what really is happening?  Being aware that ego is becoming involved, allows one to make a choice to respond with awareness rather than react without it.

My invitation to you is to take time to notice what is happening to you when interacting with your horse.  Just notice and ask yourself if your ego is becoming involved.  By increasing your awareness and chosing not to react with ego, the relationship with your horse will move to a new level.

I would love to hear your stories and feedback about how this process worked for you.

I officially resigned from the Vancouver Police Department last month in order to pursue my passion.  As well as developing and refining new programs for women, girls and horses.

My focus in working with horses has been changing over the years.  I have found it is sometimes awkward fumbling forward as I let go of the more traditional approach of horse training/riding/coaching and discover the benefits of learning more positive based methods.  There is so much more to learn and experience.  I look forward to it and I hope that you will find benefit from our programs.

Until next time….